Psalm 30:5b– Weeping may last for the night, but a shout of joy comes in the morning.
I do not know about you but the word grief/grieving is an awkward word for me. What do you say to people when you know they are grieving? When you are going through the grieving process personally, how are you so supposed to act?
The last question is one I have dealt with many times since the loss of my daughter. You hear the stories and watch movies of people who are dealing with grief, but when you go through it yourself it looks so much different. Even the way my husband and I handle the loss of our daughter has been different. This past week we took a much-needed family vacation to the beach. This was a bittersweet trip for me. As I watched my daughters play in the waves and saw other families on the beach with their babies, it was hard to sit there and not feel a sense of loss that my daughter would never experience being at the beach. I grieved over my loss of never getting to see her joy of playing in the sand or learning to boogie board next to her daddy. These are hard moments for me. Before leaving for the trip, Chris and I decided to take her urn with us. Even though it is filled with her ashes and those ashes cannot experience life at the beach, for us as her parents, this would be the only way we would ever experience the beach with her. I battled with thoughts that people would think we were crazy if they heard we did this. I also picked out a favorite book to read to her while on the beach. Thursday night we did family pictures on the beach with Faith. We read her our favorite books, her Bible verse, the girls poured sand on her urn so she would know what sand felt like, and Chris took her out into the waves for her to feel them. People might think we are crazy for doing this, but this is how our family chose to grieve and find healing at the same time.
Nobody knows how they will react with grief when it comes to them. It is an extremely personal process that each person handles differently and in their own time. If you are grieving today, please know there is no right or wrong way to it. You need to find the ways that help you find healing in the process of saying goodbye to the person or future you no longer have. If you need help please find someone who can help you. I am seeing a wonderful Christian counselor who specializes in helping women who have lost a baby. If you are walking alongside someone who is grieving today, please just be there. They do not need you to fix the situation for them, they just need someone who cares.
God promises in Psalm 30 joy will come in the morning. I do not know what God’s plan is for our family, we hope it includes a baby. As we continue to walk each day in this journey of grief and finding healing, I wait for the morning and the joy it brings. As a song, I grew up with, went through my head the other day, “He is an on-time God, yes He is,… He may not come when you want Him, but He’ll be there right on time.” I will continue to wait on Him to bring joy in the morning in His perfect timing.
