Isaiah 55:8-9 “For My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways,” declares the Lord. 9 “For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways
And My thoughts than your thoughts.”
I love looking back over family pictures and reminiscing over the memories captured in those photos. It amazes looking back how much the girls have changed since Chris and I got married three years ago. In our bedroom, we have a picture from our wedding day. Several days before Faith’s birth, I was looking at that picture and thinking about what babies Chris and I were. While we were both grown adults who had gone through so much on our own in life, we still had no idea what life would bring us in the next three years. We have faced the loss of two babies, my battles with depression and insomnia, the craziness of raising two girls and living life, starting a company, and the many changes in our jobs over the years. Looking back we have survived a lot in three years. Things we never thought we would go through when we said “I do” on September 23, 2017. I would marry this man all over again, but there are things I would probably change over this three-year journey. Wisdom I have learned as we grew as a couple, learning how to become a step-parent, things I would have done differently which could have led to my daughter being here today. We cannot change the past, we all know this, yet we still spend seconds, minutes, and hours of our lives thinking about how we could change our past to make our future better. God tells us in Isaiah His ways are unknown to us. We will never understand His movements behind the scenes in this life. Once we reach heaven it will all make sense. In the meantime, we will keep asking our “Why” questions and finding our strength to continue trusting in a God whose plan is so much bigger than ours. Please know it is okay to ask “Why”. It is okay to grieve your plans for the future that God reveals to be different than yours. He is there with you and He is big enough to handle your emotions when things do not make sense. To be honest, I am still struggling with His plan for my life right now, and how my future has turned out to be completely different than what I thought it would be. On the hard days, I curl up with Faith’s baby blanket and cry my tears, holding on to the hope one day will be better.
