Genesis 50:20a “…As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good…”

The other day I was thinking about where my life was and where it currently is. This is not where I thought I would be in my thirties. Somehow in those thoughts, it struck me how similar my life currently is to Jobs. He lost his children, I lost Faith. He lost all his animals, my dog unexpectedly died. In losing his animals he possibly lost his livelihood, I lost my job. Like Job, I am sitting in the ashes of what I thought my life would be and asking God where is He? Where are the answers that I am desperately seeking in the effort to rebuild my life and move on? I cannot help but wonder some days did I do something wrong? For the last two months, my life has been a major spiritual battle. I do not know God’s plan for my future, but I strongly feel Satan is trying to stop me and keep me discouraged. I am fighting hard, but I am getting tired. I am left every day with lots of “I don’t know” statements. I don’t know where to find a job, I don’t know what kind of job I would like, and I don’t know if I will ever get to hold our baby this side of heaven. The “I don’t knows” go on for what seems like forever. It leaves me frustrated at the end of the day. It leaves me battling the negative thoughts Satan is constantly bombarding me with.

While I do not believe it was God’s plan for my daughter to die, her death is a consequence of sin in this world. It is part of the unfairness of life Adam and Eve left us with. All of the things I have experienced these past two months are the hard and at times tragic parts of life. I am working hard to not let them define my future. I am looking and working toward the blessings God wants to give me.

Joseph’s brothers meant to do evil towards him when they sold him into slavery. At that time Joseph had no idea how this horrible, tragic incident in his life would be used to save his family years later. Right now Satan has brought evil against my life with the loss of our daughter, dog, and my job. We are not going to let him triumph over us, or me. We will continue to fight even on the days we are tired. One day we will look back and say, “What you meant for evil, God meant it for our good!” Do not give up on your hard days in life. What Satan means for evil in your life is an opportunity for God to change it for good. Are you willing to fight for your good that God wants to give you?